The Catty Shack - Lesson#2

I have been bit, scratched, and pottied on almost daily by one cat or
another. It comes with the territory of grooming cats. You’d be
surprised, though, how many felines actually seem to enjoy the whole
grooming experience. At The Catty Shack, we like to refer to it as a
“Spa Treatment.” While this might make cat owners feel a bit better
about leaving their furball at the groomer’s for two hours, I doubt it
does much in the way of making kitty feel any better about being
hijacked by the owner he once trusted, shoved into his plastic carrier,
and toted off to the torture chamber.
But, if you are a cat, especially a long-haired variety, this whole
grooming thing is a necessary part of life. It’s like going to the dentist,
I tell my clients. No one actually enjoys sitting in the dentist’s chair with
their mouth pried wide open, while a blazing white light overhead tears
at your pupils. But in the end, you have a clean, healthy mouth, and
hopefully only a small co-pay due upon services rendered.
So it is for a cat. Their skin and coat need to be cleaned and
maintained from time to time. The more often the better, in my
opinion. When I was showing my Persians in CFA Cat Shows, they
would get bathed 1-2 times per week. After months of this special
treatment, their coat and skin would glow with vitality and utmost
fluffiness.
This leads me to what I have learned and continue to learn from cats:

LESSON #2
Cats are vain creatures and love to look their best. They tend to be a
bit narcissistic. Oh heck, they are the epitome of narcissism. Even
Brad Pit and Anjolina Jolie can’t compare.
A bad hair day can ruin a cat’s mental well-being for the rest of its life.
Why do you think cat’s groom themselves so often? They are forever
in a state of trying their best to look their best. They are akin to the
supermodel who thinks she’s fat and must go on a diet, or the near-
perfect actress who undergoes plastic surgery to improve what was
already pretty darn good to begin with. They are infatuated with their
own looks, mainly their hair. Now that I think about it, it really is ALL
about their hair. Have you ever seen a cat that’s worried about its
flabby thighs or whether or not you can still see his 6-pack? I didn’t
think so. But you can bet your life that at this very moment you are
reading these words, there are hundreds, possible thousands, of cats
out there somewhere licking their locks into place.
How does a cat spell “ugly?” You guessed it: M-A-T. That’s right.
The dreaded 3-letter “m” word. Mat. Worse than stretch marks,
cellulite, flab, warts, varicose veins, and all the rest put together. The
cat with the mat. The social outcast of the feline world. The deformed
phantom, the hunchback, the beast, the Boo Radley of cats. So is
the cat with the mat.
Let me ask you, would you want to be seen with big wads of matted
up, greasy hair plastered to your head? Throw in some dandruff for
good measure just before company drops by. Personally, I wouldn’t
be caught dead coming to the door looking like that. Imagine how
your cat feels each time the doorbell rings. No wonder he runs off
and doesn’t come out until the coast is clear. He’s embarrassed. His
pride and glory mane has become a source of shame.
It’s up to you to assist your beloved cat in this matter. He’s licked and
licked his hair into place so much that now he’s leaving the remains
on your floor after a hacking fit that sounds as though he’s about to
die. Maybe he is about to die........of embarrassment.
Feline enemy #1: Grease. I see cat’s on a daily basis that look like
they’ve been rubbed down with Crisco. My job, as a groomer of cats,
is to get the grease out. Greasy, oily coats tend to mat up very
quickly due to the fact that shedding hair will stick to hair that is still
attached to the cat. This, in turn, creates a small tangle. Small
tangles, by nature, grow into ugly mats that like to hang around and
grow bigger.
So give your cat his pride back. Make his hair look its best so he can,
once again, strut his stuff and be the vain creature he was made to
be. I’m sure your cat would do the same for you.